Anxiety is one of the most overused terms on social media. Everywhere I look I see people saying that things are giving them anxiety and the truth is that these same people probably have never had a panic attack a moment in their life. For those of us that have panic attacks on a daily basis, it can be quite frustrating to even get out of bed some days. We know that once we put our feet on the ground that anything, yes, absolutely anything can trigger it.
I’ve had anxiety since I can remember. I was about five years old when my Kindergarten teacher pointed out that I had severe anxiety, anytime anything changed out of my day, I got severely anxious and sick with worry. I ended up throwing up and at times I would pass out. When I was a child, no one really took it that seriously, I would get so anxious anytime my grandma would leave me and my mom would just say that it was something that I got from my grandma, the worrying for no apparent reason. It really just pissed her off.
Now, that I’m an adult, I have to say that I probably have bigger temper tantrums than my children. When things don’t go as planned or something negative is affecting me in a bad way and I can’t calm down or gain a moment to process it, I throw a fit. I’m not kidding, now I don’t do this in front of my kids, but I either go out to the car or the bathroom and just cry it out and talk to myself about it. See, I’m an empath so everyone around me brings to me their feelings and I pull their feelings into my own and it makes me who I am. I tend to care too deeply for others in pain and that makes me anxious. Then top it off with the stress of adult life, sometimes it leads to an anxiety attack.
What does an attack feel like? Well, it feels like someone has their hands around my neck and I keep trying to breathe and I can’t. It’s like I’m grasping for calmness in this chaotic world and I can never reach it. I just want quiet, silence, no noise, not even the sound of the wind. I want space, but I don’t want to be abandoned. It’s an overflow of fear and panic, and sometimes I don’t even know what causes it. I will be happy one moment and get this sick twisted feeling in the pit of my stomach like something just awful happened to me and I don’t know what it is.
I’m a crunchy mom and don’t believe in medication, I’ve tried CBD oil and sometimes it helps. EO’s and meditation can help me. My point of this post is that there are people out there that think they have anxiety because their brand new acrylic just fell off their finger when in reality they have no idea how it feels to be in the sheer panic over absolutely nothing and everything at the same time.