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Open Your Eyes

Negativity surrounds humanity as if it’s the air we breathe. It dampens our hearts and brings fear into our souls. Negativity can make us numb and it can paralyze us. When we realize that we are the ones who bring negative energy into our own little positive world we will only then defeat and rise above.

For those of you who personally know me, you know that I don’t believe the same ways as everyone else. My mind is like an open book willing to take new information in, but one thing will always be for sure, I believe what I believe and some things you won’t be able to change my mind on.

I believe that we are in control of our own destiny, that every single thing on this Earth has a place. I believe in or nature and that nature heals all. I believe in so many things that a blog post is not enough to get you to open your eyes to all the beautiful and wonderful things in this world.

In order to see things from a different perspective, we must stop judging others for their choices. We must stop judging others for the way they see things and maybe open up to their points of views. After all, there’s an entire universe that is unknowing out there.

To say one type of perspective is wrong would be to say that you 100% know for sure what there is after this life. None of us know what is after this life, we only know what we believe in and have faith in. We only know what we were raised to know or what we taught ourselves.

To conclude this post, let’s get involved in the world around us. Study new and wonderful things. You don’t have to believe in it, just see the possibilities with how things work. Kind of like opening up a computer and figuring out what makes it run.

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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I am the Omega woman

People, who know me know that I love werewolves and vampires, so why not use the terminology to describe myself? Omega actually does not come from the lonesome wolf that we all know. It comes from the Greek word meaning a person who has been or feels rejected by society. Being rejected by society is not always a bad thing and here’s a post on how I am the Omega woman.

Not many people can actually really say they associate with me. They don’t know my thoughts or what is going on in my day to day life. Heck, they don’t even stop to say hi to me when they do see me. I know some people just add me on Facebook to be nosey but there is nothing to find there. I post about my kids and crunchy things. Maybe a humorous post here and there, but nothing really that come from my mind and heart.

 

I keep to myself. I have not always been this way. I actually started out posting all my cry baby business on Facebook because being a crybaby was my life and I am the first to admit this. I was so down on myself and had no shame in letting the entire world know how I really felt about my relationship. I’m actually ashamed of this.

I spend 99% of my time with my kids and doing mom things. Most of my friends don’t do this. If there’s an event at the school, you bet I’m there in each and every one of my kid’s classes. If my kid needs help with homework, I’m there to help him through it and to teach him what he doesn’t know. If the splash pad is open, you bet I’ll be going to that once a week or multiple times just to spend time with my kids. There’s a new superhero movie out, I’ll be there to see it with my boys.

I don’t allow others to tell me how to parent my kids. Like those people who ask why I’m so picky about the chemicals coming in my household or who get sick of hearing me talk about organic this or organic that. Hey, if you’re sick of it, there’s a door and please don’t talk about your bad chemical filled household, I don’t judge you, please don’t judge me.

I’m an open book. You have a question? I’ll answer it.

I push people away and I really can’t help it. I’ve had a ton of those people that were here one day to get their entertainment on and gone the next. I’m used to it. Please don’t let that door hit you on the way out because I’m not here to entertain you.

My loyalty game is strong. I’m loyal to my kids first and above all, my husband comes in a close second and friends/family are last. If they don’t like you, chances are I don’t like you.

I don’t fit it. I don’t go clubbing, I don’t care if you like my car or my house or the way I dress. I don’t care if you like that I breastfeed, cloth diaper, or the way I walk. This is me, you either like it or take a hike.

I am there for people even when they aren’t for me.

Conclusion

I am an Omega because I choose to be different. I don’t really go around saying I’m an Omega woman, but this is the term that can describe how I am. I don’t care what others think or how they feel anymore. I will not respond to the pettiness of others.

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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Time4Learning Review

I usually don’t do too many reviews on my blog but I have been trying to find an alternative method for my kids to use while studying for school. I have one child, in particular, that is a bit behind in his education and I had to look at various websites to see what homeschool/after school options were best for his needs.

What is Time4Learning?

Time4Learning is a website that you can enroll your children in for either after school study, homework or just to have a little extra education.

Costs

Since they offer multiple pricing options and sometimes a discount I won’t go into details about costs. However, you are more than welcome to check out their website at Time4Learning.com for more information about prices.

My Experience 

As a parent, I had a hard time finding a platform that would live up to my standards. I want my kids to learn a lot and have fun doing it. I like to also be in control over what my child is learning and Time4Learning allowed me to do just that. With their platform, I was able to assign certain assignments to my son and we also have a nice paper trail of what he has done.

I like the fact that we can keep grades and have a record of everything in case I do decide to homeschool him some time.

My Recommendation

I would 100% recommend a parent to use Time4Learning for homeschool or after school extra education reasons.

I was compensated for this, but this is a true review of my own thoughts and Time4Learning did not tell me what to write.

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No Mother of Mine

Mothers Day, what a wonderful day to celebrate your mother and be celebrated as a mother. However, I will not be celebrating my own mother because she is No Mother of Mine. 

Previously my blog had a ton of posts telling you exactly how I feel about my own mother. Let me take one step back and explain to you that I don’t call her mom. I call her by her first name because to me she isn’t a mother at all. Now, before you start judging me about how I should not treat my mother in such a way, let me tell you a bit about her.

It started off before I was born. She didn’t even want me. She looked into abortions and for some strange reason she backed out. Now, I am thankful for that of course, but she didn’t do it because she had a kind heart. Who knows why she made that choice. She pawned me off on my great grandma’s and she did some pretty awful things when I was a baby. Like put me out in the snow, keep me from my biological father and tell him I wasn’t his, the list can go on forever. When I was a teenager she would tell me I was fat. I really thought I was fat, I wore a jacket every day to cover up my rolls, I was size 7 jeans and 130 pounds, 5′ 6″. I was NOT fat. As I said the list can go on forever.

I’m not mad about the way she used to treat me. It’s how she treats my kids. She has nothing to do with the youngest five. She became very obsessive over my oldest son and she does the same thing to my sisters’ kids except she has a bit more to do with her second son. It got to the point that I had to tell her if she didn’t leave him alone we would get a restraining order. She’s seen my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th son only one time. My last two kids, she hasn’t seen at all. The last time we even spoke to each other was three years ago and it’s because I was stopping to see my grandma. My 2nd son was in the back of the car and my grandma brought up my 4th son’s hair and how curly and poofy it was… and my mom was like “Adam has straight hair” and smiled all big, not even acknowledging my son in the backseat. I said “Tyler has straight hair too” and pointed at him… and she just looked him up and down like she didn’t even care. This argument escalated because I confronted her about coming to the kids birthdays. She never comes to see them and she told me that she has a life and doesn’t have time to come and see my kids. She then told me she doesn’t care about me and walked off.

So, nope I didn’t have a mother to say Happy Mothers Day to..I had a grandmother to say it too. A woman who raised me. A woman who taught me to be a great mom and a woman I look up to. I’m glad she’s here for me still and that she loves all of my babies equally.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you moms! Please share what your kids got you! Mine got me some amazing handmade cards from school and chocolates!

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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Look at the Box!

Food is just wonderful. I love food, it’s just so great to get a tasty meal and get your tummy full. What you don’t know is that 90% of what we call food, really isn’t food at all. If you go to my Facebook page you will see just what I’m talking about. A man finally looked at the box of cereal his kids were eating and discovered it had Trisodium Phosphate in it.

What is Trisodium Phosphate?

Glad you asked! It’s paint thinner. Yes, you read that right. Our kids’ cereal has paint thinner in it. You can read more about it on Online Holistic Health.

Side Effects

Quoted Directly from Livestrong:

 If you consume large quantities of trisodium phosphate in its crystallized form, you are likely to experience abdominal pain and a burning sensation in the digestive tract. Large doses may cause chemical shock or collapse, according to the International Programme on Chemical Safety. As a dry powder, trisodium phosphate has a corrosive effect on your skin, eyes and respiratory system. If you work with chemicals, avoid smoking or eating on the job before washing your hands.

You can read more here.

Thoughts

Read the Box! Yes, it takes more time in the store but stop and read everything on the back of package and boxes. You will be completely surprised at what you discover. Get to know your foods!

I have been on a clean eating adventure since the start of 2017. It has been really difficult for me. Because everything has chemicals and awful things in them. You basically have to eat fresh. But, paint thinner in food that is marketed to children? That is beyond disbelief. Please take a moment and educate yourselves before allowing little tummies to eat these awful foods.

-Queenofhartsxoxo

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I Know You’re Broken and You Want Somebody to Save You

Dear Friend,

I know you’re broken and you want somebody to save you. That is why I am going to dedicate this post to you, you, and you. I have been where you are standing. I have felt the pain and loneliness that one feels when there’s nobody there to help. I have been that mother that struggles to make ends meet. I have been that woman who kept blaming herself for a relationship going south. I have been the girl that was so broken inside that I wanted to curl up in a ball and just be alone, but really I just needed a friend.

I want to let you know that you have somebody. If you need someone to remind you of how much you are loved, I will be that friend. If you need someone to hold your hand through the struggles, I will be that hand. If you need a listening ear to cry about things going wrong, I will be that ear. I know how it feels to have nobody at all.

Some days are tough but I promise it gets better. Being a mother and in charge of little people can be very draining. After all, they depend on you for food, shelter, and love. Now, what I can suggest doing is to put your thoughts aside for the night and love your babies. It will make you feel better. Forget about your worries just for one night because those worries will be there in the morning and time flies by when your kids are growing up.

I have felt the burden of everyone else’s pain. I have felt like there was a huge weight on my shoulders and that I was just being pulled deeper and deeper down into a body of water and I couldn’t breathe. Suffocation at it’s best. I have allowed myself to sit in my misery and sorrow. I have pushed other people away because I felt like nobody cared.

I know that you’re broken and you want somebody to save you. I am here when you need me to.

 

-queenofhartsxoxo

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13 Reasons Why- RATED, Part II

Thank you for joining me again for Part II of my personal review for 13 Reasons Why. If you hadn’t had a chance to read my previous review yet, please do. You can do so by clicking here. 

Part I was about the first six episodes. This will be about the next six episodes. The 13th and final episode will have the review of it’s own. If you have NOT watched the series please stop now because there are some spoilers.

On with the review of 13 Reasons Why- Part II (Episodes 7-12)

Tape 4: Side A aka Zach

Lonliness is such a difficult part of life. This episode finally hit home for me. When she said the word  lonely, it grabbed my attention. I’ve felt lonely most of my life. Not physically but emotionally. I grew up in a family where I was the outcast. Everyone else liked to fight and had friends. Me? I did my best to be good and stay out of trouble. When I did get into trouble I had everyone turn their backs on me. When I moved to a new town in the third grade the hardest time making friends. I wasn’t invited to birthday parties. I didn’t get to go hang out with friends. Not until the sixth grade. Even then it felt like everyone liked each other more than me. My first real best friend was in the 7th-8th grade. We did everything together. Then I lost her too. I was so alone. Walking the hallways with nobody. Going to class alone. Sitting alone at lunch. Being without friends can break you. Being without anyone to emotionally connect to, breaks you. I know what lonely is because even now I feel like I don’t have friends that care. I get these thoughts and feelings and I need to connect to someone on an emotional level and sometimes there’s nobody to connect with and it is so lonely.

I cried during this episode. I cried writing this post. I felt lonely last week. Like I was in my head screaming so loud and nobody could hear me. I have people that want to hear the latest life news but not one of them really cares about me. Or that’s how I really feel. My kids love me, yes, but this is a different kind of feeling.

Tape 4: Side B aka Ryan

Hannah wanted nothing more than to be heard by people that weren’t at school. She wanted to be able to have others feel her pain. She just didn’t want to deal with those that wouldn’t understand it or her words. Ryan was just another one of the 13 people that betrayed her, if it is 13 people who betrayed her.

Tape 5: Side A aka The Party

Rape should always be taken seriously and people should not stand by if they are witnessing something so horrific. Hannah stood by and I can see how knowing she could have stopped something from happening could damage her.

Tape 5: Side B aka Sheri

Knowing that an accident could have been prevented if you just got there in time can add on the guilt. Sheri could have been able to prevent the guilt being added onto Hannah if she would have just stopped and called the stop sign in. The wreck wouldn’t have happened.

Tape 6: Side A aka Clay

The tape that we all waited to hear. How could this person be on the tapes? What role did he play in Hannah’s suicide? To me he didn’t. He didn’t see her cry for help. That’s not really something we can blame on him. Like she said he doesn’t deserve to be on the tapes.

Hannah’s mother found the draft of who the tapes will go to. I’m interested in seeing where it’ll take us in the next episode. Which led to Clay’s mother needing to prepare him for the deposition.

I believe the hardest part was when Jessica found out she was raped. It can definately destroy her life and I understand why she’s behaving strange.

Tape 6: Side B aka Bryce

Rape can break a soul to pieces. It can tear you a part and leave you with a huge feeling of emptiness as deep as an abyss and you just feel like there’s no way out. Up until this episode I felt like that maybe it was every thing put together. That maybe all these things added up could break a person. But, most girls do go through stuff like this in high school.

Rape makes you feel like your life is no longer worth living. Hannah was already so broken and so upset that she found what hurt her so severely that she couldn’t forget it.

Review- Part II

If you can make it through the first six episodes, the next six episodes can make it well worth it. I think that it needs to come directly from someone that can relate to Hannah’s pain. There’s not always something we can relate to. Maybe you even relate to the people that hurt Hannah. Please stay on the look out for Part III of my 13 Reasons Why review. It will bring my conclusion and let you know how I feel about the ending.

Until then!

-QueenofhartsXoXo