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I am the Omega woman

People, who know me know that I love werewolves and vampires, so why not use the terminology to describe myself? Omega actually does not come from the lonesome wolf that we all know. It comes from the Greek word meaning a person who has been or feels rejected by society. Being rejected by society is not always a bad thing and here’s a post on how I am the Omega woman.

Not many people can actually really say they associate with me. They don’t know my thoughts or what is going on in my day to day life. Heck, they don’t even stop to say hi to me when they do see me. I know some people just add me on Facebook to be nosey but there is nothing to find there. I post about my kids and crunchy things. Maybe a humorous post here and there, but nothing really that come from my mind and heart.

 

I keep to myself. I have not always been this way. I actually started out posting all my cry baby business on Facebook because being a crybaby was my life and I am the first to admit this. I was so down on myself and had no shame in letting the entire world know how I really felt about my relationship. I’m actually ashamed of this.

I spend 99% of my time with my kids and doing mom things. Most of my friends don’t do this. If there’s an event at the school, you bet I’m there in each and every one of my kid’s classes. If my kid needs help with homework, I’m there to help him through it and to teach him what he doesn’t know. If the splash pad is open, you bet I’ll be going to that once a week or multiple times just to spend time with my kids. There’s a new superhero movie out, I’ll be there to see it with my boys.

I don’t allow others to tell me how to parent my kids. Like those people who ask why I’m so picky about the chemicals coming in my household or who get sick of hearing me talk about organic this or organic that. Hey, if you’re sick of it, there’s a door and please don’t talk about your bad chemical filled household, I don’t judge you, please don’t judge me.

I’m an open book. You have a question? I’ll answer it.

I push people away and I really can’t help it. I’ve had a ton of those people that were here one day to get their entertainment on and gone the next. I’m used to it. Please don’t let that door hit you on the way out because I’m not here to entertain you.

My loyalty game is strong. I’m loyal to my kids first and above all, my husband comes in a close second and friends/family are last. If they don’t like you, chances are I don’t like you.

I don’t fit it. I don’t go clubbing, I don’t care if you like my car or my house or the way I dress. I don’t care if you like that I breastfeed, cloth diaper, or the way I walk. This is me, you either like it or take a hike.

I am there for people even when they aren’t for me.

Conclusion

I am an Omega because I choose to be different. I don’t really go around saying I’m an Omega woman, but this is the term that can describe how I am. I don’t care what others think or how they feel anymore. I will not respond to the pettiness of others.

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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No Mother of Mine

Mothers Day, what a wonderful day to celebrate your mother and be celebrated as a mother. However, I will not be celebrating my own mother because she is No Mother of Mine. 

Previously my blog had a ton of posts telling you exactly how I feel about my own mother. Let me take one step back and explain to you that I don’t call her mom. I call her by her first name because to me she isn’t a mother at all. Now, before you start judging me about how I should not treat my mother in such a way, let me tell you a bit about her.

It started off before I was born. She didn’t even want me. She looked into abortions and for some strange reason she backed out. Now, I am thankful for that of course, but she didn’t do it because she had a kind heart. Who knows why she made that choice. She pawned me off on my great grandma’s and she did some pretty awful things when I was a baby. Like put me out in the snow, keep me from my biological father and tell him I wasn’t his, the list can go on forever. When I was a teenager she would tell me I was fat. I really thought I was fat, I wore a jacket every day to cover up my rolls, I was size 7 jeans and 130 pounds, 5′ 6″. I was NOT fat. As I said the list can go on forever.

I’m not mad about the way she used to treat me. It’s how she treats my kids. She has nothing to do with the youngest five. She became very obsessive over my oldest son and she does the same thing to my sisters’ kids except she has a bit more to do with her second son. It got to the point that I had to tell her if she didn’t leave him alone we would get a restraining order. She’s seen my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th son only one time. My last two kids, she hasn’t seen at all. The last time we even spoke to each other was three years ago and it’s because I was stopping to see my grandma. My 2nd son was in the back of the car and my grandma brought up my 4th son’s hair and how curly and poofy it was… and my mom was like “Adam has straight hair” and smiled all big, not even acknowledging my son in the backseat. I said “Tyler has straight hair too” and pointed at him… and she just looked him up and down like she didn’t even care. This argument escalated because I confronted her about coming to the kids birthdays. She never comes to see them and she told me that she has a life and doesn’t have time to come and see my kids. She then told me she doesn’t care about me and walked off.

So, nope I didn’t have a mother to say Happy Mothers Day to..I had a grandmother to say it too. A woman who raised me. A woman who taught me to be a great mom and a woman I look up to. I’m glad she’s here for me still and that she loves all of my babies equally.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you moms! Please share what your kids got you! Mine got me some amazing handmade cards from school and chocolates!

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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A Better Me

A Better Me (1)

I have made a decision to go through past blog posts and delete most of them. When I started my blog I had no idea where it may take me in my life and I really didn’t know what my intentions were with my writing. Now that I do know what topics I’d like to write about I am starting fresh, nearly.

When you look back on my past blog posts you will see my birthing stories and motherly posts or my personal thoughts on a subject. Believe me, with six kids, there’s a lot I could write about. I want to be able to share my thoughts and feelings. I want to take you along for the ride of my life.

My Journey

I want to be able to empower all women. I hate that we live in a society where we down each other for sexual preferences, the color of our skin, relationship status, etc. I want to help those mothers who are fresh and new to see the excitement of motherhood. I want to bring each and every one of you along this huge journey.

Better Me

I want to better myself. I want to be a better person, mother, friend, family member, wife and more. I want to show you my world and you show me yours. Here I am, uncensored and I want you to join me in the fun.

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I Failed Whole30

Failure- such a strong word. Many people fail at things. I am admitting to failing at Whole30. It’s not that I don’t want to eat healthily, it’s that I am a sugar addict. My head started hurting and I couldn’t take it anymore, so on day 15 ….I ate a donut.

I know that I could probably make a million excuses of why I decided to eat that donut, but I won’t. I opened the pack for my son and well, I left the urge to get the best of me. I have learned so much about food and the things we put into our bodies, so I don’t want to give up on this journey of eating right, but the rules of  Whole30 are not something I want to deal with.

I was also doing it for all the wrong reasons. One being to lose weight. If you do whole30 it’s not to lose weight, it’s to give up the foods you crave and to cure an addiction of sugar in 30 days… and then you have the choice of going right back to those bad habits. Most people do.

I did lose 15 pounds so it very much does work. It’s just not for me. I am going to try paleo, that way I can have banana pancakes or almond flour ones. I can eat my breakfast pudding, etc.

I am taking my entire family Paleo starting the 1st of April! I will update you on our journey.

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Whole30- Day 3 (The Hangover)

The great thing about Whole30 is that they have a great support team to help you along the way and there are some absolutely amazing people out there that have been through this entire thing before. They can tell you exactly how you will be feeling the next few days and this site: The Whole30 Timeline will provide some amazing tips and encouragement on how to handle your mood swings and cravings. On Day 3, I hit the Hangover stage, it actually started on Day 2 at the end of the day. My head hurt so bad this day. I just really missed my Dr. Pepper, I woke up missing my Dr. Pepper, it’s all I thought about for hours, I finally went to Sonic and bought me an Iced tea, unsweet and that made the cravings a little less. I almost wanted to give up and just call it quits. But, as I look at my clothes that don’t fit and how unhappy I am with my body, I stuck through it. Reminding myself, Dr Pepper will be here in 27 days.

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Whole30 (Restart) Day 2

During the middle of the night of Day 2, I started craving sweets, I wanted a candy bar, a donut, anything sweet. Man, how I wanted some chips. But, I held strong and was able to overcome the need for these craving. For Day 2 I had almonds for breakfast, I know it wasn’t the best choice, but I really did not feel like getting up and making anything for myself. For lunch, I ate carrots and my homemade ranch dressing! Yes, it came out great, b.t.w. For dinner, I had two pork chops, a massive salad with my homemade ranch dressing, a banana, applesauce, and green beans.

I think now is the time I’ve realized I don’t totally follow the rules to a T with how I should be eating meals The other day I joined an FB group and found out that banana chia pudding is not compliant because you are replacing the urge to eat real pudding. But, that’s not even how I use it. I use it for my breakfast, I don’t eat it when I want pudding. So, I may continue to eat compliant ingredients and these non-compliant foods, as I breastfeed and I have to get different nutrients from different things. It’s hard to follow the rules when you nurse babies!

Anyways, I’m on Day 9 and am updating this as I go! Wish me luck!

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Whole30 (Restart) Day 1

Today was a good day to start Whole30. I have to admit that I am very surprised at the results I’ve had today. It’s absolutely amazing what a meal plan and a few extra days of preparation and grocery shopping will do. When I started this on the 9th I was very ill prepared and honestly, I felt devastated. I know I can do it, but eggs for breakfast, every day? Yuck and a salad with vinegar on it for lunch? Gross. I needed variety. I needed a meal plan. I needed something where I wouldn’t feel cheated, I wouldn’t feel starved, I wouldn’t feel like I’m on a diet. I wanted to be able to feel like I’m doing something to help me feel happy and to lose weight because I’m healthy not because that’s what I intend to do.

So, today I am feeling okay, I’m not disappointed in the meals I have eaten. I had a banana chai pudding for breakfast, so wonderful. Made with two banana’s, chai seeds, and almond milk. It was pretty fantastic. For lunch I had a cobb salad… kind of… I had homemade ranch dressing that I am pretty proud of, I made it from scratch and guess what? It tasted just like ranch dressing! I had some chicken, a hard boiled egg, romaine lettuce mix all in it. I had some raspberry fruit strips (all natural from Aldi’s) and some sweet potato chips (also all natural from Aldi’s) for a snack. For dinner I had baked chicken, with carrots and coconut butter, and a side of apple sauce. I think the snack part kind of goes against Whole30 rules, yes they are compliant but I’m supposed to be changing my eating habits.

So, I did not fail the first day! I don’t feel sad because all I can eat tomorrow are eggs and nothing. I feel very happy with the food choices we have available to us.