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Open Your Eyes

Negativity surrounds humanity as if it’s the air we breathe. It dampens our hearts and brings fear into our souls. Negativity can make us numb and it can paralyze us. When we realize that we are the ones who bring negative energy into our own little positive world we will only then defeat and rise above.

For those of you who personally know me, you know that I don’t believe the same ways as everyone else. My mind is like an open book willing to take new information in, but one thing will always be for sure, I believe what I believe and some things you won’t be able to change my mind on.

I believe that we are in control of our own destiny, that every single thing on this Earth has a place. I believe in or nature and that nature heals all. I believe in so many things that a blog post is not enough to get you to open your eyes to all the beautiful and wonderful things in this world.

In order to see things from a different perspective, we must stop judging others for their choices. We must stop judging others for the way they see things and maybe open up to their points of views. After all, there’s an entire universe that is unknowing out there.

To say one type of perspective is wrong would be to say that you 100% know for sure what there is after this life. None of us know what is after this life, we only know what we believe in and have faith in. We only know what we were raised to know or what we taught ourselves.

To conclude this post, let’s get involved in the world around us. Study new and wonderful things. You don’t have to believe in it, just see the possibilities with how things work. Kind of like opening up a computer and figuring out what makes it run.

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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I am the Omega woman

People, who know me know that I love werewolves and vampires, so why not use the terminology to describe myself? Omega actually does not come from the lonesome wolf that we all know. It comes from the Greek word meaning a person who has been or feels rejected by society. Being rejected by society is not always a bad thing and here’s a post on how I am the Omega woman.

Not many people can actually really say they associate with me. They don’t know my thoughts or what is going on in my day to day life. Heck, they don’t even stop to say hi to me when they do see me. I know some people just add me on Facebook to be nosey but there is nothing to find there. I post about my kids and crunchy things. Maybe a humorous post here and there, but nothing really that come from my mind and heart.

 

I keep to myself. I have not always been this way. I actually started out posting all my cry baby business on Facebook because being a crybaby was my life and I am the first to admit this. I was so down on myself and had no shame in letting the entire world know how I really felt about my relationship. I’m actually ashamed of this.

I spend 99% of my time with my kids and doing mom things. Most of my friends don’t do this. If there’s an event at the school, you bet I’m there in each and every one of my kid’s classes. If my kid needs help with homework, I’m there to help him through it and to teach him what he doesn’t know. If the splash pad is open, you bet I’ll be going to that once a week or multiple times just to spend time with my kids. There’s a new superhero movie out, I’ll be there to see it with my boys.

I don’t allow others to tell me how to parent my kids. Like those people who ask why I’m so picky about the chemicals coming in my household or who get sick of hearing me talk about organic this or organic that. Hey, if you’re sick of it, there’s a door and please don’t talk about your bad chemical filled household, I don’t judge you, please don’t judge me.

I’m an open book. You have a question? I’ll answer it.

I push people away and I really can’t help it. I’ve had a ton of those people that were here one day to get their entertainment on and gone the next. I’m used to it. Please don’t let that door hit you on the way out because I’m not here to entertain you.

My loyalty game is strong. I’m loyal to my kids first and above all, my husband comes in a close second and friends/family are last. If they don’t like you, chances are I don’t like you.

I don’t fit it. I don’t go clubbing, I don’t care if you like my car or my house or the way I dress. I don’t care if you like that I breastfeed, cloth diaper, or the way I walk. This is me, you either like it or take a hike.

I am there for people even when they aren’t for me.

Conclusion

I am an Omega because I choose to be different. I don’t really go around saying I’m an Omega woman, but this is the term that can describe how I am. I don’t care what others think or how they feel anymore. I will not respond to the pettiness of others.

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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No Mother of Mine

Mothers Day, what a wonderful day to celebrate your mother and be celebrated as a mother. However, I will not be celebrating my own mother because she is No Mother of Mine. 

Previously my blog had a ton of posts telling you exactly how I feel about my own mother. Let me take one step back and explain to you that I don’t call her mom. I call her by her first name because to me she isn’t a mother at all. Now, before you start judging me about how I should not treat my mother in such a way, let me tell you a bit about her.

It started off before I was born. She didn’t even want me. She looked into abortions and for some strange reason she backed out. Now, I am thankful for that of course, but she didn’t do it because she had a kind heart. Who knows why she made that choice. She pawned me off on my great grandma’s and she did some pretty awful things when I was a baby. Like put me out in the snow, keep me from my biological father and tell him I wasn’t his, the list can go on forever. When I was a teenager she would tell me I was fat. I really thought I was fat, I wore a jacket every day to cover up my rolls, I was size 7 jeans and 130 pounds, 5′ 6″. I was NOT fat. As I said the list can go on forever.

I’m not mad about the way she used to treat me. It’s how she treats my kids. She has nothing to do with the youngest five. She became very obsessive over my oldest son and she does the same thing to my sisters’ kids except she has a bit more to do with her second son. It got to the point that I had to tell her if she didn’t leave him alone we would get a restraining order. She’s seen my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th son only one time. My last two kids, she hasn’t seen at all. The last time we even spoke to each other was three years ago and it’s because I was stopping to see my grandma. My 2nd son was in the back of the car and my grandma brought up my 4th son’s hair and how curly and poofy it was… and my mom was like “Adam has straight hair” and smiled all big, not even acknowledging my son in the backseat. I said “Tyler has straight hair too” and pointed at him… and she just looked him up and down like she didn’t even care. This argument escalated because I confronted her about coming to the kids birthdays. She never comes to see them and she told me that she has a life and doesn’t have time to come and see my kids. She then told me she doesn’t care about me and walked off.

So, nope I didn’t have a mother to say Happy Mothers Day to..I had a grandmother to say it too. A woman who raised me. A woman who taught me to be a great mom and a woman I look up to. I’m glad she’s here for me still and that she loves all of my babies equally.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you moms! Please share what your kids got you! Mine got me some amazing handmade cards from school and chocolates!

-queenofhartsxoxo

 

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Look at the Box!

Food is just wonderful. I love food, it’s just so great to get a tasty meal and get your tummy full. What you don’t know is that 90% of what we call food, really isn’t food at all. If you go to my Facebook page you will see just what I’m talking about. A man finally looked at the box of cereal his kids were eating and discovered it had Trisodium Phosphate in it.

What is Trisodium Phosphate?

Glad you asked! It’s paint thinner. Yes, you read that right. Our kids’ cereal has paint thinner in it. You can read more about it on Online Holistic Health.

Side Effects

Quoted Directly from Livestrong:

 If you consume large quantities of trisodium phosphate in its crystallized form, you are likely to experience abdominal pain and a burning sensation in the digestive tract. Large doses may cause chemical shock or collapse, according to the International Programme on Chemical Safety. As a dry powder, trisodium phosphate has a corrosive effect on your skin, eyes and respiratory system. If you work with chemicals, avoid smoking or eating on the job before washing your hands.

You can read more here.

Thoughts

Read the Box! Yes, it takes more time in the store but stop and read everything on the back of package and boxes. You will be completely surprised at what you discover. Get to know your foods!

I have been on a clean eating adventure since the start of 2017. It has been really difficult for me. Because everything has chemicals and awful things in them. You basically have to eat fresh. But, paint thinner in food that is marketed to children? That is beyond disbelief. Please take a moment and educate yourselves before allowing little tummies to eat these awful foods.

-Queenofhartsxoxo

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I Know You’re Broken and You Want Somebody to Save You

Dear Friend,

I know you’re broken and you want somebody to save you. That is why I am going to dedicate this post to you, you, and you. I have been where you are standing. I have felt the pain and loneliness that one feels when there’s nobody there to help. I have been that mother that struggles to make ends meet. I have been that woman who kept blaming herself for a relationship going south. I have been the girl that was so broken inside that I wanted to curl up in a ball and just be alone, but really I just needed a friend.

I want to let you know that you have somebody. If you need someone to remind you of how much you are loved, I will be that friend. If you need someone to hold your hand through the struggles, I will be that hand. If you need a listening ear to cry about things going wrong, I will be that ear. I know how it feels to have nobody at all.

Some days are tough but I promise it gets better. Being a mother and in charge of little people can be very draining. After all, they depend on you for food, shelter, and love. Now, what I can suggest doing is to put your thoughts aside for the night and love your babies. It will make you feel better. Forget about your worries just for one night because those worries will be there in the morning and time flies by when your kids are growing up.

I have felt the burden of everyone else’s pain. I have felt like there was a huge weight on my shoulders and that I was just being pulled deeper and deeper down into a body of water and I couldn’t breathe. Suffocation at it’s best. I have allowed myself to sit in my misery and sorrow. I have pushed other people away because I felt like nobody cared.

I know that you’re broken and you want somebody to save you. I am here when you need me to.

 

-queenofhartsxoxo

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A Better Me

A Better Me (1)

I have made a decision to go through past blog posts and delete most of them. When I started my blog I had no idea where it may take me in my life and I really didn’t know what my intentions were with my writing. Now that I do know what topics I’d like to write about I am starting fresh, nearly.

When you look back on my past blog posts you will see my birthing stories and motherly posts or my personal thoughts on a subject. Believe me, with six kids, there’s a lot I could write about. I want to be able to share my thoughts and feelings. I want to take you along for the ride of my life.

My Journey

I want to be able to empower all women. I hate that we live in a society where we down each other for sexual preferences, the color of our skin, relationship status, etc. I want to help those mothers who are fresh and new to see the excitement of motherhood. I want to bring each and every one of you along this huge journey.

Better Me

I want to better myself. I want to be a better person, mother, friend, family member, wife and more. I want to show you my world and you show me yours. Here I am, uncensored and I want you to join me in the fun.

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I Failed Whole30

Failure- such a strong word. Many people fail at things. I am admitting to failing at Whole30. It’s not that I don’t want to eat healthily, it’s that I am a sugar addict. My head started hurting and I couldn’t take it anymore, so on day 15 ….I ate a donut.

I know that I could probably make a million excuses of why I decided to eat that donut, but I won’t. I opened the pack for my son and well, I left the urge to get the best of me. I have learned so much about food and the things we put into our bodies, so I don’t want to give up on this journey of eating right, but the rules of  Whole30 are not something I want to deal with.

I was also doing it for all the wrong reasons. One being to lose weight. If you do whole30 it’s not to lose weight, it’s to give up the foods you crave and to cure an addiction of sugar in 30 days… and then you have the choice of going right back to those bad habits. Most people do.

I did lose 15 pounds so it very much does work. It’s just not for me. I am going to try paleo, that way I can have banana pancakes or almond flour ones. I can eat my breakfast pudding, etc.

I am taking my entire family Paleo starting the 1st of April! I will update you on our journey.